it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
