Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
