where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
