Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
