we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My penis needs a shock collar
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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