HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
