no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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