Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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