i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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