I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
