You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
