did you get engaged???
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
