Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize