I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
