Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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