You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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