I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
