I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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