Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so let's talk penis.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
