Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
