Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
