Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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