girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
