So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
