matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
