Pappa wants mamma naked
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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