do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I will pee on everything he values.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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