Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
