Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
