Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Randomize
