the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
