is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
