If i come over, it means nothing
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
