He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
