Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
