The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
