Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
