with your own penis?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
