Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
