Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
A+ Viking dick
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
