Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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