hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
