i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
