Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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