Nicole vs. Life
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
