just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
