By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
