Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm really busy with my period
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