At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
