There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I don't deserve a penis
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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