She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
