yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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