okay pat passed out under dana's car
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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