If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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