I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
