It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
