She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
