i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
