Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My balls are so social today.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
