It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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