this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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